Here is the thing. I did everything I was "Suppose" to do. I worked hard at jobs, did well in school,and then met a
man. We dated and fell in love. Married and had our babies. I loved and cherished him and my little family
through the beginning good and what turned out to be the eventual bad. I Tried to make it work.
Begged for therapy and prayed for answers. In the end he left me and my babies. What came next I was never
prepared for. Homeless, jobless, and alone I had to start my lifeover again. I had to be strong for my two little
ones.
I couldn't let them see me cry or be frightened. Cramped in our small shelter motel room wondering how I got
here I had to fight internally every day to find the good and not let them see how broken and lost I was. Because
of my inner demons I lost friends and family along the way. They couldn't understand what I was going through.
Thanks to the grace of god and amazing help along the way I got us out and into a small apartment of our own.
That was only the first step of the battle ahead. I was in a new town where I didn't know a soul. Because of what
little funds I had I looked in less than desirable areas for an apartment I could afford. I spent every night for the
first month with all of us sleeping in my bed locked in our room. It was the only way I felt safe enough to go to
sleep.
That was all we had were beds. We did not even have lamps to turn on when it got dark or a table to
eat at. Day by day we found more angels that would help us make the apartment a home. Though I may have
lost some close friends who should have been there for me. Old ones reappeared and the ones that stayed
became family. I now need to relearn how to do things, where once I was a team now I am alone. There is no
breaks or rests. Getting a job or having a night off seemed next to impossible. Everything I do now is with one
simple thought of what is best for the kids. It does not matter what may be best for me. But, rather do anything
and everything possible to make the world a good place for them. I would never want them to worry or be scared
and will gladly take all the burden.
I am finding a life again and working towards figuring out who I am now. I can't even recognize the person I use
to be. I have many more fears and concerns. But, also new hopes and dreams. It turns out that even though the
area we moved may not be the best I fell in love with our tiny home we made. I am making new friends and even
getting back into the dating word. That itself takes on a whole new meaning as a single mother.
I have learned that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was. I am trying to say yes to more things such as
help and opportunity. I only wish that my life didn't constantly feel like I was jumping from a sinking ship to swim
through shark infested waters to get to a life boat. All while taking my babies in tow. I try and remind myself that
I have made it this far. My babies are happy and healthy. They are fed and have a roof over their head. Our life
may not be perfect. It may never be perfect. But, it is us against the world.
They make me stronger and happier than I ever knew I was capable of being. Hopefully one day I will not have
these fears. But, until then friends I will take it one day at a time. If you need help, ask. You may not get it right
away or from who you were expecting. But help will come. If an opportunity arises say yes. Don't let the fear make you have regrets. Take it one day at a time and remember there are always angels along the way.
man. We dated and fell in love. Married and had our babies. I loved and cherished him and my little family
through the beginning good and what turned out to be the eventual bad. I Tried to make it work.
Begged for therapy and prayed for answers. In the end he left me and my babies. What came next I was never
prepared for. Homeless, jobless, and alone I had to start my lifeover again. I had to be strong for my two little
ones.
I couldn't let them see me cry or be frightened. Cramped in our small shelter motel room wondering how I got
here I had to fight internally every day to find the good and not let them see how broken and lost I was. Because
of my inner demons I lost friends and family along the way. They couldn't understand what I was going through.
Thanks to the grace of god and amazing help along the way I got us out and into a small apartment of our own.
That was only the first step of the battle ahead. I was in a new town where I didn't know a soul. Because of what
little funds I had I looked in less than desirable areas for an apartment I could afford. I spent every night for the
first month with all of us sleeping in my bed locked in our room. It was the only way I felt safe enough to go to
sleep.
That was all we had were beds. We did not even have lamps to turn on when it got dark or a table to
eat at. Day by day we found more angels that would help us make the apartment a home. Though I may have
lost some close friends who should have been there for me. Old ones reappeared and the ones that stayed
became family. I now need to relearn how to do things, where once I was a team now I am alone. There is no
breaks or rests. Getting a job or having a night off seemed next to impossible. Everything I do now is with one
simple thought of what is best for the kids. It does not matter what may be best for me. But, rather do anything
and everything possible to make the world a good place for them. I would never want them to worry or be scared
and will gladly take all the burden.
I am finding a life again and working towards figuring out who I am now. I can't even recognize the person I use
to be. I have many more fears and concerns. But, also new hopes and dreams. It turns out that even though the
area we moved may not be the best I fell in love with our tiny home we made. I am making new friends and even
getting back into the dating word. That itself takes on a whole new meaning as a single mother.
I have learned that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was. I am trying to say yes to more things such as
help and opportunity. I only wish that my life didn't constantly feel like I was jumping from a sinking ship to swim
through shark infested waters to get to a life boat. All while taking my babies in tow. I try and remind myself that
I have made it this far. My babies are happy and healthy. They are fed and have a roof over their head. Our life
may not be perfect. It may never be perfect. But, it is us against the world.
They make me stronger and happier than I ever knew I was capable of being. Hopefully one day I will not have
these fears. But, until then friends I will take it one day at a time. If you need help, ask. You may not get it right
away or from who you were expecting. But help will come. If an opportunity arises say yes. Don't let the fear make you have regrets. Take it one day at a time and remember there are always angels along the way.