Here is the thing. I did everything I was "Suppose" to do. I worked hard at jobs, did well in school,and then met a
man. We dated and fell in love. Married and had our babies. I loved and cherished him and my little family through the beginning good and what turned out to be the eventual bad. I Tried to make it work. Begged for therapy and prayed for answers. In the end he left me and my babies. What came next I was never prepared for. Homeless, jobless, and alone I had to start my lifeover again. I had to be strong for my two little ones. I couldn't let them see me cry or be frightened. Cramped in our small shelter motel room wondering how I got here I had to fight internally every day to find the good and not let them see how broken and lost I was. Because of my inner demons I lost friends and family along the way. They couldn't understand what I was going through. Thanks to the grace of god and amazing help along the way I got us out and into a small apartment of our own. That was only the first step of the battle ahead. I was in a new town where I didn't know a soul. Because of what little funds I had I looked in less than desirable areas for an apartment I could afford. I spent every night for the first month with all of us sleeping in my bed locked in our room. It was the only way I felt safe enough to go to sleep. That was all we had were beds. We did not even have lamps to turn on when it got dark or a table to eat at. Day by day we found more angels that would help us make the apartment a home. Though I may have lost some close friends who should have been there for me. Old ones reappeared and the ones that stayed became family. I now need to relearn how to do things, where once I was a team now I am alone. There is no breaks or rests. Getting a job or having a night off seemed next to impossible. Everything I do now is with one simple thought of what is best for the kids. It does not matter what may be best for me. But, rather do anything and everything possible to make the world a good place for them. I would never want them to worry or be scared and will gladly take all the burden. I am finding a life again and working towards figuring out who I am now. I can't even recognize the person I use to be. I have many more fears and concerns. But, also new hopes and dreams. It turns out that even though the area we moved may not be the best I fell in love with our tiny home we made. I am making new friends and even getting back into the dating word. That itself takes on a whole new meaning as a single mother. I have learned that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was. I am trying to say yes to more things such as help and opportunity. I only wish that my life didn't constantly feel like I was jumping from a sinking ship to swim through shark infested waters to get to a life boat. All while taking my babies in tow. I try and remind myself that I have made it this far. My babies are happy and healthy. They are fed and have a roof over their head. Our life may not be perfect. It may never be perfect. But, it is us against the world. They make me stronger and happier than I ever knew I was capable of being. Hopefully one day I will not have these fears. But, until then friends I will take it one day at a time. If you need help, ask. You may not get it right away or from who you were expecting. But help will come. If an opportunity arises say yes. Don't let the fear make you have regrets. Take it one day at a time and remember there are always angels along the way. I think when women become wives and mothers we loose a bit of ourselves. Not that I one hundred percent loved my body Pre-Children. But, after my kids I became more critical of it. I started dressing differently. Hiding myself in photos. I had a friend mention a new trend "Boudoir Photos". Beautiful confident women posing to show themselves as sexy and alluring in their best light. I loved the idea of these photos. Yet always told myself "After I loose a few pounds".... "Maybe when I get rid of some of these stretch marks"... Usual things women tend to tell themselves. I do not know what made me realize it. But, one day I decided Why Not?! There is NO ideal body. I have never not once thought to myself my body is perfect. So I tried them. Not to be scandalous but to feel confident, pretty, and strong. That is exactly what these photos did for me. They made me feel confident in my own skin. There is no perfect weight. We all need to recognize that imperfect is perfect. Why not have my cake and eat it to. I do happen to love cake. I encourage women to give it a try. Even if they are just for yourself and you do not feel comfortable sharing with the world. The act of finding something sexy or some style I had not tried in years was liberating. The photos do happen to be suggestive with out actually showing anything. Most more covered then today's average bathing suit. Which lately I often did not feel comfortable wearing. I was shocked how much I loved them. I am one to be my worst critic of photos of myself. I had a trusted friend take them for me. I looked through photos online to come up with ideas I thought would work best for me. It was amazing fun to just let loose and be myself. Love your body! You curves, scars, and imperfections. Always remember you are beautiful and please never tell yourself otherwise. No matter what I want you to know I think you are all beautiful and strong women. A typical day for me starts out with two cranky munchkins. Both wanting something at the same time. I make some breakfast, drink some coffee, and change some diapers. After I fully wake up which is usually by nine-ish I set to work on my business for a little bit. Advertising and sending emails. Then I start on the household chores. In between chores I play with the little ones trying to make their day as fun and educational as possible. There are special needs classes, crafts, and lots and lots of diapers. I usually have to remind myself to eat or drink. I find it funny that I so often forget my needs in the hustle and bustle of everything else.
As a stay at home mother no one really understands what you do. Except for other stay at home mothers. I sadly to often hear a lot of misconception about what we do. Everything from "You have it so easy", to "I would love to be able to stay home and do nothing all day". We are under paid, over worked, and misunderstood. Here is a glimpse of what I do on a daily basis. Give or take a few tantrums and diapers. Often I say what I have done during the day. I have never before stopped to take a quick shot and then look back on my hectic day. I encourage other moms to give it a try. Look back at your pictures and see just how hard you work. I can honestly say I love my job. Although I never get a sick day and the hours never stop. It is the most rewarding job you can have. I take care of my family and feel often that I am doing a great job at it. I wish that we could break through the stereotypes people can have about stay at home mother. Yes we are all different. I am sure not all mothers have my OCD and feel the need to vacuum three times a day. But, our jobs are just as important then anyone else's. What does your typical day look like? It baffles me these days how often we judge each other. Even if it is something as small as a persons outfit, hair choice, or facebook status. Don't lie we all do, it even if we do not mean to. We are only human after all. Is it that we find it more socially acceptable to judge these days. Or that due to social media we have more people putting themselves out there. If some one shares a post or video that was probably just meant for family and friends all it takes is one click of a button for the whole world to have your post. That leaves you open for scrutiny. But, tell me who are we to judge? Can you honestly tell me that you yourself or a loved one has never done something that would cause the world to wag their tongues about you? I myself have fond memories of being a child sitting in a family members lap as they let me drive a car. Today a picture like that could get anything from comments about social services to actual threats. Does it make you more weary of being yourself on social media? I will not change my photos or post just to be "Socially Acceptable" Why on earth should I the ideas of what is "Socially acceptable" is changing often. From baby names to what you allow your child to wear. Everyone will have an opinion. It is up to you whether you want to join in to be someone judge and jury. I personally try not to. But, I know there are times when I do it with out even realizing. Below are some of the biggest controversies. A mother allowing her child to swim with sharks. A pregnant woman weight lifting. Parents teaching their daughter to shoot a gun. A father letting his son drive with him. Baby names that everyone had thoughts on. These people did something they found acceptable for them and by doing so caused the whole world to have an opinion. I love the idea of family themed Halloween costumes. This year for my family I think we are all going as pirates with Chloe in a handmade tutu as a pirate princess. DIY costumes are a great inexpensive option. Here are a few ideas I think are adorable. A lot of these you can use things from your own wardrobe but buy some accessories. They are all family friendly and loads of fun. What do you think your family will be for Halloween?
Now I admit like a lot of you I was very skeptical of those "Free Sample" sites. I weeded through a lot of horrible ones till I found some gems. I collected what ever I could for one whole month and here are my results: 1- Coupon for Free Stage 4 Beach Nut baby food 1- Sample box of Woolite Dryer Sheets 1- Pack of 4 shades of Clarins Lipgloss 1- Coupon for a Free Dunkin Donuts Medium Coffee 1- Coupon for Free Pepsi 1- Box of 4 Feminine Products 1- Pack of Clear Shampoo and Conditioner 1- Adorable Bracelet 1- Shick Hydro Silk Razor that came with coupons in the pack for $4 off Refills 1- Jiffy Recipe Book This was only 4-5 weeks of collecting estimated value around $25-$30. I paid no shipping on any of these and have much more already coming in the mail. Not only does this save me money. But, The samples all come with coupons and everyday is like Christmas. You never know what new gift will be in the mail for you the next day. I have clicked for so many free samples the past few weeks that I know I am getting some. But, never remember which ones till they get here. I have created an easy list you can follow on facebook and also will recommend two sites which I continue to use and get great revues from other moms. All links will be below. Happy sampling! https://www.facebook.com/lists/548149295208527 http://www.freeflys.com/MoreFreeSamples.php http://freebiesfrenzy.com/free-samples/free-samples-by-mail/ https://www.pinchme.com/samples Heading back to school or going for the 1st time for little ones can be stressful. As with any new situation, allow your child time to adjust. Remind your them that everyone feels a little nervous about the first day of school and that it will all become an everyday routine in no time. Stress the positive things about going back to school, such as hanging out with friends, meeting new classmates, buying cool school supplies. *If your child is starting a new school, contact the school before the first day to arrange a day and time to visit. *Lunchbox notes- Small notes tucked inside a lunchbox or backpack can really bring a smile to your child's face. In addition to reinforcing reading skills, you're also modeling the power of writing. *School Countdown- Make a ring chain or a fun poster to let your little ones countdown to the 1st day back. *Make a School Spot- for your children to place their school belongings as well as a place to put important notices and information sent home for you to see. Explain that emptying their backpack each evening is part of their responsibility, even for young children. That way you always know where things are. *Photo Op- Take a fun/funny Back to school photo the day before (Chalk Art, Use apples, Holding a number of the grade they are in, a sign of what they want to be when they grow up, ect) *Scavenger Hunt Shopping- Make a list of what you need take them to the store for a scavenger hunt. Make it fun. Taking the kids to the beach can be fun. But here are some great Cheap/Free fun activities for a hot summer day. Keep in mind to check for local free activities. A lot of towns now have Free Playgrounds with water activities. Then there are story days at the Library. Some malls offer Free kids movies once a week. Of course there is the old favorite beach. I like every mother want to make the summer memorable and fun for my kiddos. But that does not mean having to break the bank. We started our trip by getting a little turned around. But, no one seemed to upset. The scenery was beautiful. Complete with farms, fields, and mountains. When you first drive into Oxbow you are greeted by friendly staff in the office. Which also doubles as a small store and recreation center. We were given a map and our site number then set off to find it. All the sites were well spaced. But, ours is what some would call the best. It sat in between the boating and the swimming pond. As we were turning our site into a home the staff drove up and delivered wood to us. They let us know that trash was picked up everyday between 12-3 and to use one bag for recycled items. Already I was impressed. Wood delivery and trash pick up. Once our tent was set up we quickly got into our bathing suits and headed to the pond. On the walk there a man who had caught a bass in the fishing pond let my little man check it out. He didnt seem so sure he liked it. The ponds were clean and cool. They also had free boat for us to use. It took some persuading but I finally let my Hubby take Luke out on one. He did great sat perfectly still as daddy paddled around. After swimming Luke and I headed to shower off. Now I typically fear campground bathrooms. Tiny stalls full of bugs. I was pleasantly surprised to find there were no stalls. In fact they were just like a normal bathroom clean and maintained. The showers were twenty five cents and the timer lasted a good amount of time. Oxbow was not only reasonably priced and family friendly. But, it was full of free things to do. They also have a large events calendar. The weekend we went they had a BBQ chicken dinner. Now yes the tickets were $10 a person but it was a ton of food and very good. The hubby even gave them the stamp of approval. After dinner they had a free Dj and party for the guests to attend. Free: *Playground *Fishing *Swimming *Petting Farm *Boats *Pool Tables We had an amazing time. Luke tried his first marshmallow, went on his first boat, slept in his first tent, held his first frog. All the things a little boy should get to do during the summer. We liked it so much that we already made reservations to go back for their Halloween in August weekend. I think we may be the latest members of the Oxbow Family. |